Voldemorts Portkey Adventure
by greenkat92
Summary: Voldemort finaly has the chance that he's longed for to kill Harry Potter but will a slight mistake from Peter Pettigrew ruin it?Includes: Naruto, Stanley Yelnats, And many many other random characters!


"M'Lord, I have checked, and the boy is alone. Are you going to seaze this opertunity?" A strange rat-like man asks to a masculine power in a dark corner. Yellow eyes flashed in the darkness, so snakely, it would give you chills.

"I don't need you to remind me, however, now is time." The figure rises from the corner, his pale skin seemed to glow, like a fireflys'. "Prepare a portkey, then go to my death eaters, tell them our struggle may finaly be over." Lord Voldemort commands of his slave, Peter Petegrew.

Peter nods and proclaims, "The portkey is ready in the next room." Then, quickly leaves his masters presence.

Lord Voldemort sweeps his robes around him, and grabs his wand, prepareing for the kill. He will be ready. Going into the next room, he realizes something, he didn't know which was his portkey. Wanting to hurry, he grabs a small intricate box off of his desk.

Instantly he feels like he's being pulled by the navel. This was the right item.

The sun is blazeing, and there a dozens of holes surrounding one, they were all about five or six feet deep.

The smallest one suddenly begind to shake, and Lord Voldemort rises arms outstretched by his sides, wand in hand.

"Where are you hiding POTTER?" Voldemort hisses, his teeth clenched in an aweful grimace. He turns around, cape fluttering in the stale air. However, Harry was not here... Voldemort angrily clenches his fist, then reaches back into the hole, that was now collapsing, and grabs the portkey.

A boy wearing a yellow jump suit walks over to the pile of dirt that was a hole.

"Man! Now I have to redig the entire thing!" Stanley Yelnats shouts, then leans on his shovel and sighs sadly.

The Dark Lords temper was begining to flare, why hadn't Pettigrew told him where the port key was?! In his mind, he thinks over several diferent was to pay back the insolent slave.

Nevertheless, now was not the time for this vengence, but another.

He looks at a diferent item, it was an odd pair of chopsticks. Perhaps this may be the true portkey, he thinks to himself.

Quickly, he grabs them, and again feels the awkward sensation of a pull behind his navel.

The air is cool and crisp, there is a lingering sence of joy in the air, followed by a small sence of doom.

Voldemort again arises, this time water was boiling around him. A feint scent of ramen lingered in the air.

"Now fool! Time for my VENGENCE!" Lord Voldemort crys out, pointing his wand at the boy before him. However, something was wrong, Harry Potter wasn't blonde...

"Well, good for you, now, would you mind getting your 'vengence' out of my ramen?!" Naruto yells at the moron who seemed to have done nijutso- right into his soup.

Voldemort would not stand for this, yet neither would Naruto.

"Wait a second, where are my chopsticks?!" The young blonde asks, looking at the bowl where Voldemorts feet were currently taking residence. The scaley feet move, and a pair of broken chopsticks come into view.

"That was my last pair you moron!"

"Your the stupid one, impudent muggle." Lord Voldemort exclaimed waving his wand at Naruto. Until then, Naruto hadn't noticd, but the strange man was holding a diferent pair of chopsticks, perfect for payment.

Naruto might not have known what a muggle was( or that he wasn't one),but he did know one thing; to eat ramen, you need chopsticks. "Those chopsticks are now mine! Believe it!" He jumps up, pointing at the pair of chopsticks in the mans hand.

The Dark Lord shakes his head feriously, "No! Now leave me be!" Voldemort grabs the other end of the chopsticks, and instantly he is back in the room.

Naruto however, wasn't so much better. "It's one thing to ruin a pair of chopsticks, but when he ruins my ramen- it's on! Believe it!"

Voldemort was now very upset. He had wasted time, and now his feet were becoming prunie-er because of their ramen bath.

Wanting to hurry up, incase Potter was moving, Voldemort grabs the next port key. His navel lurched, and once more he wishes he could just go to sleep and forget that today ever happened.

There is a lively scene in a huge room, somebody is 'woo-hooing'.

Voldemort arises, and imediately is hit by a figure wearing a lampshade on their head, still 'woo-hooing'. The lampshade falls off, and Voldemort comes eye to eye with Lucius Malfoy.

"coughcough, M'Lord, I'm so sorry, forgive me... I can explain, I was just celebrating your sucess, you finaly did it." Malfoy says, bowing deeply and blushing to a crimson red.

"Oh, of course," Voldemort says, trying not to blow his cover, "carry on then." Quickly, he picks up the lightbulb that had brought him there and goes back to the large room.

Now, he was thinking, I'll have to be more prescice on which item I choose.

He picks up and odd ring, silver with a crimson red stone, like a sorcerers stone.

Quickly he is gone, again the pulling behind the navel.

When he arrives, first thing he notices is that, again, his feet are wet. However, now he wishes his feet were again in the soup, for when he looks down, he sees that he's standing in a whiteish gray toilet.

Quickly jumping out, he recovers himself and exits the stall, "Why is this room so familiar?", he asks himself. His eyes catch on a sink and he realizes, he is in a girls bathroom in Hogwarts. And not just any bathroom, the one that is the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets.

He glances around, there was no chance that Potter would be here atall.

A small shimmer of light shows under a stall, and he paces over to it.

"Who is there?" He bellows, raising his voice angrily. A ghost, in the formation of a girl sits there, sniviling. She looks up quickly, startled.

"It is him! He-who-must-not-be-named is at Hogwarts!!!" Lord Voldemort whips out his wand and aims it at the ghost, using a silencing charm, he quickly rids the noice.

However, the scream still caught someones attention. A short haired blonde Slytherin enters, eyes wide with wounder.

"My Lord, you are alive," the girl quickly gets on her knees, bowing in the utmost respect.

"And why wouldn't I be- girl?" he asks, angrily at the amount of stupidity he had to deal with today.

"Parden me, my Lord, I am Kathryn, one of you'r true servents here at Hogwarts, please forgive my surprise." she adverts her eyes, not wanting to be rude, or anger him.

He nods to her, then turns, and grabs the ring, leaving her on the ground.

Voldemort yawns, tierd and angry, it had been a very long day, he goes into the next room, and goes into his dark corner. Hugging his Teddy Bear, Luke, he quietly slips off to sleep.


End file.
